He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
