you win again, gameday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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