doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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