nut hugger
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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