even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
