I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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