he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
