I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
