somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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