Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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