I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
