i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
