i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
