Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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