at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
