and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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