Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
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I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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