dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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