he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
