you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
