was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
