i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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