some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
