Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.