i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night