Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.

  (1-619): View more from California

  You literally just made my flesh crawl.

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  (619): I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter. (1-619): You literally just made my flesh crawl. http://tfl.nu/h7tg
  Replies (32) Good night (2007) Bad night (1053)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Buhtt sex?

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  (503): Buhtt sex? http://tfl.nu/zx30
  Replies (9) Good night (2463) Bad night (1140)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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  (815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe
  Replies (14) Good night (4266) Bad night (761)
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  (315): View more from New York

  just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again

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  (315): just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again http://tfl.nu/dkz6
  Replies (15) Good night (1047) Bad night (3831)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed

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  (604): his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed http://tfl.nu/zsvf
  Replies (20) Good night (1029) Bad night (4605)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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  (843): when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home. http://tfl.nu/096s
  Replies (33) Good night (12268) Bad night (1346)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon

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  (443): Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon http://tfl.nu/pfsh
  Replies (18) Good night (4596) Bad night (1379)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.

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  (440): i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me. http://tfl.nu/a0ta
  Replies (13) Good night (3206) Bad night (801)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it

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  (816): She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it http://tfl.nu/ag4k
  Replies (8) Good night (2650) Bad night (702)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"

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  (202): we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious" http://tfl.nu/kvms
  Replies (4) Good night (3045) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.

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  (412): I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised. http://tfl.nu/nqg7
  Replies (9) Good night (1906) Bad night (940)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.

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  (605): She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating. http://tfl.nu/imu2
  Replies (8) Good night (427) Bad night (1087)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today

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  (906): Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today http://tfl.nu/n5yz
  Replies (7) Good night (442) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.

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  (803): I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids! (1-803): Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew. http://tfl.nu/h7pj
  Replies (6) Good night (1794) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  .,.,you might have to leave

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  (412): Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding. (1-412): .,.,you might have to leave http://tfl.nu/thv0
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (632)

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