I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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