he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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