we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
COCAINE IS GR8
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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