I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
