He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i believe in u and ur pee
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
