I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
