Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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