He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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