Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
