hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
