I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
