no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
