I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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