hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
