I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
