Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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