Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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