you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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