I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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