i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
