Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
All I want is dick and wine.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
