yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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