That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
being pregnant is like rehab
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
