i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
