It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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