..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize