I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
