Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I AM VODKA MAN
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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