The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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