Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize