i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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