I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
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