It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
