wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
