I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
