You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
