I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
